i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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