Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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