Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
