it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
