i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
