If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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