Sry I called you an 8
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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