Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
