seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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