My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
