Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
