I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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