I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
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