Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
