Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
