they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
