if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
