So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
