I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
