the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
