No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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