Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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