the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
