is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
