He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
