Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
