nut hugger
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
