I didn't shave. On purpose
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
