I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
