Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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