Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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