do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Pooping to opera.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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