He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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