A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
