She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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