I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
