Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
