not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
