My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
