haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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