I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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