i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
only if we run a train.
done.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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