i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
nutella sex= disaster
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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