hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
