do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
