I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
