Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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