I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
