And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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