That's intense
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
